Writing dialog for foreign characters

Sorry, that's not how people speak

One of my pet peeves is when authors write intelligent characters whose first language is not English, but whose command of the language is comically absurd. Specifically, when they can express complex concepts in idiomatic English, but then pepper their speech with common words in their own language.

For example, I recently read a scene where a couple are on holiday in France. The wife has an accident, and is taken to the hospital. The surgeon explains to the husband in great detail what exactly has happened, his diagnosis, and how they are treating her, then ends up with: “Do not worry, I am sure votre femme will soon recover.”

So… this guy has no problem with complex medical terminology, and has enough command of English to be reassuring and empathetic, but he doesn’t know the English words for “your wife”? Really?

Or there’s the scene in a Cold War novel where a German intelligence officer is interrogating a suspected American spy. His English is flawless, except that he ends each accusation with “nicht wahr?” (Isn’t that true?)

People speaking in a foreign language just like that. Depicting foreign characters this way feels as laughable as those old 1970s British war comics, where the Germans would say things like “Feuer! Destroy ze Englander Schwein!”

I teach conversational English to foreign students from all around the world: my current roster includes students from Egypt, Algeria, Abu Dhabi, India, Italy, Taiwan, Brazil, Spain, Côte D’Ivoire, Poland, and Colombia. When they speak, they usually have an accent, and they often use grammatical structures or word orders from their own language, but they never, ever, use a word from their own language in place of a common English word. They do often mix languages, but when they do, it’s always the difficult or unusual words they have trouble with - almost always preceded or followed by “how do you say this in English…?” (I’ve noticed one interesting exception to this: all my Arabic-speaking students say insh’allah: they don’t even attempt to translate it.)

I get it. Writing this way is an easy shorthand for authors, and it’s easy for readers too. Sprinkling in a few common foreign words or phrases that the reader recognizes not only makes it clear that the character is foreign, but makes it clear which language they’re speaking. “Ja, mein Herr…” is a quick and easy way to signify that the speaker is German. (Or maybe Austrian, or Swiss.) “Grazie, signora!” Must be Italian. “Un petit croissant, perhaps?” French, obviously.

And it’s better than resorting to writing in an appalling fake accent: “Velcome to ze ‘otel Magnifique, monsieur, eet is always such a plaisir to see such an ‘onored guest.” That’s barely a step away from Peter Sellers as Inspector Clouseau, and the famous “Ave you a rhume?” sequence. Great comedy for its time, but in serious fiction, it’s horribly out of place. I find that kind of writing jarring and hard to read: the characters become caricatures, just like some nineteenth century novelist writing stereotyped black characters. It’s just as awkward when you’re writing dialects: re-reading The Weirdstone of Brisingamen recently, I found Gowther Mossock’s Yorkshire dialect almost incomprehensible and completely unconvincing.

So how do foreigners talk?

Foreigners speak English the way you’d speak French or Spanish or whatever. The basics aren’t a problem. They know the common words and phrases, and they’ll use them as much as possible.

They may need help or reassurance with unusual words. They may even get a few words wrong. My favorite example of this was an English explorer in the Amazon jungle telling someone he was “very married”: he was confused between casado (married) and cansado (tired). Easy mistake, especially when you’re tired.

But most importantly, they’ll probably speak in a slightly odd way. Their speech should be loaded with expressions that an English person wouldn’t necessarily use, or they’ll put words in an odd order, or they’ll make grammatical errors. They’ll often say “um” or “aah” a lot.

For example, every Polish student I’ve ever taught and ever Pole I’ve worked with loves the expression “something like this”. It’s almost their equivalent of “like”. And they really struggle with the past tense and where to put definite articles. This leads to sentences such as, “The last weekend, my girlfriend and I, we go to new restaurant, something like this, and it is very good.”

What’s really interesting is that these are advanced students who can carry on complex conversations about business or other topics for hours. They know English quite well, and use it often in both professional and social contexts. They have absolutely no problems understanding me or making themselves understood. And, oddly, they wouldn’t make the same mistakes when writing, but when they’re speaking, they’re still thinking in their own language and their speech patterns reflect that.

Writing foreign characters is tough. It’s hard to do it in a way that’s comprehensible, convincing, accurate, and not patronizing. I’m slowly coming to the conclusion that maybe the best way to do it is to write dialogue in normal or slightly broken English, but just allude to the speaker’s accent. Interestingly, Fred Greenhalgh mentioned this in his course on writing audio scripts: his advice was to let the actor bring the accent, because as soon as you start writing in an accent, the script turns into caricature.

I’d love to hear what others think. What works for you, as either a reader or a writer?